Coconut Cream Pie

When I was in college, I had a friend who got married and got a subscription to Gourmet magazine (because, seriously, who but newlyweds thinks THAT'S a good idea?). She decided to make a recipe from it with her husband, and they spent all day mocking how the directions said 'puree the raspberries in the food processor for 4 seconds.' Not 5 seconds, not 'until smooth,' just 'four seconds.'

She and her husband mocked the recipe for weeks until they got around to making it, and then, just for giggles, they decided to follow the recipe to the letter, blending the raspberries for only four seconds. What happened? They got out their stopwatches, timed it, and at exactly four seconds, the raspberries went from lumpy to smooth, just like that.

I'm pretty sure she eventually preached a sermon using this as an illustration of how we should obey God even when we don't know why. Anyway, I've always remembered this story because I've always dreamed that someday I would be making a recipe and the same thing would happen to me: a really specific instruction would be given, and I would follow it, and the exact perfect result would occur.

Up until today, that had not happened, but then I made this coconut cream pie. ('Are you gonna throw it in my face?' Judson quipped hilariously). During the step where I made the custard, heating it over extremely low heat in what was supposed to be a double-boiler, the following happened:

I mixed the ingredients together. I heated them over low, stirring constantly, waiting for the mixture to thicken. I timed it, because I can never tell when custard thickens, and I was concerned I would miss it.

(I should not have been concerned.) The directions read as follows: 'Pour into double-boiler and cook over boiling water, stirring constantly until [mixture] thickens (5 min.), then cook 5 minutes more, stirring occasionally.

(Uncooked)

After 4:45 of stirring, my arm was tired and the mixture was still watery and thin. At 4:55, still watery and thin. At 5:00 on the dot, my arm suddenly slowed down in the mixture as it went from the texture of water to the texture of thick honey, immediately! Needless to say, throughout the rest of the recipe, I followed the directions to the letter, not wanting to cheat myself out of the product of a recipe that specific.

I was a little concerned when I started this recipe because it specifically calls for 'moist shredded coconut,' and, objections to the word 'moist' aside, I can't find anything but minced, desiccated coconut in Scotland which I was concerned would not fill out the pie nicely. (So concerned was I that I soaked my coconut for half an hour in dark rum before using it. TOTALLY worth it.) The pie came out just fine with the confetti-like bits of dry coconut instead of the larger, moister pieces I'm used to in the US, and either way you make it I would recommend adding some rum to the coconut first. It gives it a nice depth of flavour that I think complements the coconut wonderfully... and if you really go overboard with the run you could always make yourself a daiquiri with the remainder. It's like a classier version of Malibu!

The verdict:

5 spoons out of five. Have you ever had a coconut cream pie? I hadn't, but they're awesome. And this one is so eerily foolproof, you should really give it a shot.

The recipe:

Coconut Cream Pie

the directions:

Preheat oven to 220C/425F.
Scald the milk by heating it slowly, just until small bubbles form around the rim of the pot.
In a large bowl, mix sugar, cornstarch, and salt.
Add milk very slowly, stirring constantly.
Beat egg yolks lightly and stir into milk mixture slowly, beating until smooth.
Pour back into the pot you heated the milk in, then turn heat on very low.
Cook for 5 minutes, stirring constantly until mixture thickens, then cook 5 minutes more, stirring occasionally.
Remove from heat.
Stir in vanilla and ½ c coconut.
Allow to cool slightly, then pour into pastry shell.
Whip egg whites until soft peaks form.
Add sugar, 1 tbsp at a time, whipping well after each addition.
Spoon meringue over coconut custard, spreading to the edges of the crust.
Bake in hot oven 3-5 minutes until almost done (but not quite).
Remove from oven and sprinkle remaining coconut over meringue, then return to oven for 1 more minute.
Remove from oven, chill for at least 2 hours, and enjoy!

Yields 8 generous slices.

the ingredients:

2 ½ c milk
½ c sugar (for filling)
3 ½ tbsp cornstarch
½ tsp salt
3 eggs, separated
1 tsp vanilla
1 c shredded coconut (optional: sprinkle with 2 tablespoons dark rum)
1 baked & cooled 9” pastry shell (I used this recipe)
6 tbsp sugar (for meringue)

Barbecued Individual Meatloaves

At last, a recipe in the box for those of us trying to watch our figure after eating one cheesecake a month for the last seven months!* I'm not even kidding: these meatloaves have only 210 calories per serving, including the sauce! (And before you ask, I only know this because they are cut out from a newspaper article titled 'Giving Ho-Hum Hamburger Some Zest,' written by The Slim Gourmet and including the calorie count for both meat loaf and sauce.

As a kid, I fell squarely in the anti-meat-loaf camp. The threat of taking a bite of onion was just too real for me, and I refused any meat loaf that wasn't made by Eleanor's recipe. I'm not sure what happened to the recipe that my mom now makes based on Eleanor's method, but I'm fairly confident this is not the same one, though it is super delicious. I wasn't alone in my childhood hatred, though: Judson felt pretty close to the same. When visiting his aunt as a child, she served him meat loaf for dinner and he turned to her and said 'Aunt Louisa, you really don't know children well, do you?' I guess we both grew out of it, because today meat loaf is in Judson's top 5 favourite foods and as soon as he found out there was a recipe for it in the box, I thought I was gonna have to race him to the grocery store to buy the ingredients for it.

This is the third barbecue sauce I've made from the box, and I have to say I'm getting progressively better at it. This one was just right: super tangy, sweet, smoky, and spicy all at the same time, and although I did wish there was a little bit more than we ended up with, it was forgivable because the texture was so perfectly thick after being reduced for 15 minutes on the stove. And if your weather is going back and forth from frigid and wintry to sunny and warm, this is a perfect meal that hits all the right notes: it's filling and comforting, but won't make you feel like you completely abandoned your diet for the week.

*Just kidding. Judson doesn't like cheesecakes and I'm so tired of 'em that I can't deal with more than a slice, so those go to work with him.

The verdict:

I know it sounds like a lie, but the meat loaf has only 200 calories per serving, and the sauce has only 10. The servings are hearty enough to fill you up, though, and served with a salad and some roasted veggies, you've got a relatively healthy and super easy dinner that may not photograph super well but still tastes great... as long as you're not having any kids over for dinner.

The recipe:

Barbecued Individual Meat Loaves

the directions:
Meatloaf:

Preheat oven to 220C/425F.
Combine all ingredients.
Shape into 6 mini-loaves in ramekins or small loaf pans.
Bake for 20 minutes or until crusty and brown on the top.
Serve with barbecue sauce, or baste with sauce 5 minutes before finished cooking.

Makes 6 servings.

 

Sauce:

Combine all ingredients in a small saucepan.
Heat to boiling, then lower heat and simmer for 15 minutes, stirring frequently.

Makes 1 cup of sauce.

the ingredients:
the meatloaf:

24 oz ground beef
16 oz can tomatoes, drained, liquid reserved
1 large onion, chopped
1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
1 tsp dried basil or oregano, if your basil, like mine, turned into oregano when you weren't looking
1 tsp salt
½ tsp pepper
½ tsp garlic powder
Barbecue Sauce (recipe below)

the sauce:

Reserved liquid from tomato can
3 tbsp cider vinegar
1 tbsp minced onion
1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
2 tsp sugar
1 tsp dry mustard

Sky-High Biscuits and Strawberry Nut Shortcakes

I've never made biscuits successfully. The ones I used for this strawberry shortcake recipe in the spring were pretty great, but, technically, they were shortcakes, not biscuits. I don't know if I can legitimately say that I have now made biscuits successfully, because although these were really good, any experienced biscuit-maker would tell you that they aren't, technically, biscuits. Strictly speaking, according to my Southern grandmother (not Eleanor) and also every Southern cook I've ever met, a biscuit has only four ingredients (flour, baking powder, butter, and milk, I think). This particular recipe has way more than that, including two types of flour, egg, sugar, and cream of tartar, which, I'm happy to report, is completely optional, as I couldn't find any (though Judson did try to purchase a bottle of tartar sauce when I asked him to check at the grocery store near his office).

The biscuit recipe is in pristine condition and dated 1983, so I think it's a safe bet Eleanor never made these. Scornful of all things Southern, I was surprised to find this recipe in the box at all-- maybe the whole wheat flour convinced her they would be worth making, or maybe she, like me, just needed a vehicle for her strawberry shortcakes.

Anyway, I've been wanting to make this recipe for strawberry nut shortcake before the summer ended, but I kept finding excuses-- until I found the most perfect and beautiful wee little 'woodland strawberries' at the fruit stand last weekend. They were so round and perfect they looked like wild strawberries, and I knew they'd be perfect for this recipe. But since the shortcake recipe calls for 'biscuit mix,' which doesn't exist over here in the land where biscuits are cookies, I had no choice but to make mine from scratch. Luckily, the box came to my rescue on that front as well. Incidentally, the only other key ingredient for this recipe that I couldn't find was 'whipped topping,' which is ironic because the recipe comes on the back of the lid to a container of Dover Farms Whipped Dairy Topping. Definitely not complaining, though, as homemade whipped cream beats out the stuff in the tub any day of the week, so I ended up with a completely from-scratch dessert that was surprisingly easy to put together. Plus, in Scotland there's a dessert called cranachan that's basically just crumbled cookies, mashed raspberries, and whisky-infused whipped cream... which gave me the idea of adding just a dash of whisky to the whipped cream in this recipe. We did not regret that decision. If you're not a whisky drinker but you have some bourbon on hand, put a capful in your whipped cream-- it will change your life.

If you're dying for one last summertime dessert before the autumn sets in and you live in a place where you can still get decent strawberries, make this. You won't regret it. Bonus points if you make the biscuits from scratch-- plus, you'll have leftover biscuits that go GREAT with clotted cream and jam.

Seriously, though-- these two recipes are super easy. The biscuits come together in no time, and keep for three days at room temperature. The actual strawberry shortcakes are super simple-- sliced strawberries, a dash of sugar, and a cloud of whipped cream and you're good to go. But if you're in a real hurry, you could even skip the biscuits and just have strawberries and cream. No one would mind, I promise.

The verdict:

5 spoons out of five. These strawberry shortcakes are delicious, and somehow so much more than the sum of their (amazing) parts. Make these quick and enjoy the Indian Summer we seem to all be experiencing.

The recipe:

Sky-High Biscuits

the directions:

Preheat oven to 232C/450F.
Combine flours, baking powder, sugar, and salt.
Cut in butter until mixture resembles coarse cornmeal.
Work quickly to avoid mixture getting soft.
Add egg and milk, stirring quickly just until mixture comes together.
Flour your countertop and knead very gently and quickly.
Pat gently to 1” thickness.
Cut into 1-2” biscuits and place on a cookie sheet about 1” apart.
Bake 12-15 minutes until crisp and golden.

Yields 10 biscuits

the ingredients:

1 c flour
½ c whole wheat flour
2 ¼ tsp baking powder
1 tbsp sugar
¼ tsp salt
3 oz butter
½ egg, beaten
½ c milk

the recipe:

Strawberry Nut Shortcake

the directions:

Sprinkle strawberries with sugar and set aside.
Whip cream with vanilla and brown sugar until fluffy.
Split each biscuit, and scoop strawberries on top of the bottom half of the biscuit.
Add whipped cream sprinkle of nuts, and the top of the biscuit.
Serve immediately and enjoy immensely.

Yields 4 strawberry shortcakes

the ingredients:

2 c strawberries, sliced
2 tbsp sugar, or less if your strawberries are particularly sweet
1 c whipping cream
1 tsp vanilla
1 tbsp brown sugar
4 biscuits (recipe above)
½ c pecans