Mrs. Rhymes' Lemon Squares

Over the weekend, a fellow ex-pat friend of ours had a party to celebrate the fact that he just got his British citizenship. Judson and I went to celebrate with him, masking our jealousy with big smiles, cheap beer, and a batch of lemon squares. When we arrived at the party (which, with great irony and sass, he had themed as an American cookout), his British friends asked us jokingly (over and over) if we were 'ashamed' of him for defecting.

But no matter how many times they asked, it never ceased to shock either of us-- 'ASHAMED?' we would reply, shocked and confused. 'How could we be ashamed? We're just jealous!'*

Anyway, the party involved a whole roast pig, about a hundred boxes of cupcakes, beer pong, cornhole, and Jimmy Eat World songs. In short, it was the most American event I've been to in at least two years.

(It also involved a lot of Pimm's and haggis; Judson and I had to explain the rules to cornhole about a dozen times; the Brits refused to use actual beer to play beer pong with because 'the ball will make the beer dirty before we drink it;' and despite being the last weekend in May, the temperature never rose above 20C/68F, so it wasn't an altogether American party.)

So, in preparation for the party, when I found out we were tasked with bringing a side dish, I knew it was my chance to make a proper American dessert, and that was how I ended up making lemon squares-- my favourite dessert as a teenager. But I've never made lemon squares before, and I was nervous about the curd once I realised it wasn't cooked. Plus, I didn't have the right size dish or a pretty serving platter to take them to the party on... then we walked into the house and saw that someone had provided dozens of boxes of cupcakes from a professional bakery in our neighbourhood... and all we had to offer was a foil-covered cookie sheet covered in powdered sugar. I was embarrassed immediately; no one wants to be the person who brings the dish to the party that no one eats.

But as I set down the platter and pulled back the foil, the host walked by and immediately gasped 'ARE THOSE LEMON SQUARES?!' before grabbing a corner piece and taking a sweet/sour bite. 'THIS,' he said to everyone within earshot, 'THIS is the taste of an American cookout. You have to try one of these, they're my FAVOURITE!' And before I knew it, the cookie sheet was half-empty, and all around me people were covered in a light dusting of powdered sugar, licking it off of their fingers and shaking it off their shirts.

And THAT'S why I don't have any finished pictures of the squares to show you. But seriously, that's how you host a party. I don't know who Mrs. Rhymes was (chances are, Eleanor didn't either as this is just a newspaper clipping dating back several decades), but her lemon squares, with a few moderations, are great. The crust is crumbly, buttery, and delicious, and the filling is just sour enough to deserve a generous dusting of powdered sugar.

The crust, after mixing thoroughly, will be sandy in texture and not stick together at all. Be not dismayed! Just press it into your pan and thank me later.

*Mom: before you panic, understand we're only jealous because it means he never has to apply for another visa. Don't worry, we're not applying for dual citizenship yet.

The verdict:

4 spoons out of five. Once I made the modifications listed below to make the quantities more reasonable, the final product was delicious. (Before modifying the quantities, I ended up with 2/3 more crust than I needed and only 2/3 as much filling as I wanted.) I prefer my lemon squares a little more tart, but Judson thought they were perfect as-is. If you want a slightly more tart square, use one less egg and ¼ c more lemon juice.

Before.

After.

The recipe:

Lemon Squares

THE DIRECTIONS:

Preheat oven to 176C/350F.
Cream butter and sugar until well-blended.
Add flour gradually, beating until mixture resembles fine crumbs.
Dump crumbs into a 15x10x1 cookie sheet and press down until even and packed.
Bake 15 minutes or until slightly browned around the edges.
Remove from oven, but leave oven on.
While crust is baking, make the filling: stir together flour, baking powder, and sugar.
Beat eggs slightly at medium speed.
Add flour mixture and beat until blended.
Add lemon rind and juice, beat until blended, and taste for sweetness.
Pour filling over hot crust and return to oven.
Continue baking until golden brown and set, approximately 15 more minutes.
Upon removing from oven, sprinkle immediately with powdered sugar and allow to cool, adding more powdered sugar before serving if some has absorbed.
Cut with a sharp knife and serve once completely cooled.

the ingredients:
the crust:

2/3 c butter, room temperature and cut into slices
1/3 c sugar
1 1/3 c flour, stirred with a fork

the filling:

7 ½ tbsp flour
1 ½ tsp baking powder
2 ½ c sugar
5 extra-large eggs
1 ½ tbsp grated lemon rind
¾ c lemon juice
powdered sugar (for dusting)

 

The 'You Thought I Forgot About This Month's Cheesecake, didn't you?' Cheesecake, or, Perfect Crustless Cheesecake

I didn't forget. In fact, I so totally didn't forget that I've been putting this recipe off for a week because I just couldn't handle one more cheesecake. Then I started making it, separated 5 eggs, and suddenly had flashbacks. It was at that moment that I realised this cheesecake has the exact same ingredients in the exact same quantity as the first cheesecake I made in this unending saga. I panicked, tried to find a different recipe that would take 5 eggs, and couldn't.

So I proceeded, and boy, am I glad I did. I don't know if it's the fact that this cheesecake is any better than the first one I made, or just that I've gotten better at making cheesecakes, but this one is hands-down the best one I've made so far... though I have been on an upward trajectory for awhile, so I guess that's to be expected. Weirdly, this one is just typed up on a silky sheet of paper Judson informed me was mimeographed, and then tried to smell it to convince me that mimeography has a specific smell. I don't know if that's true, but here's what we did learn from his hands-on test: the smell of nicotine persists across generational divides. Ick.

Judson's friends, who have become my Official Cheesecake Taste-Testers, voted this one the best so far (and voted hard for it to be the only I transferred into my own permanent recipe box), so I know I'm not alone here. Also, I've been saving the best for last, but you guys, THIS CHEESECAKE CAME OUT OF THE OVEN WITHOUT A SINGLE CRACK! Those of you following along at home (and those of you who have ever tried making a cheesecake) will know that it's nearly impossible to get a cheesecake out of the oven with a smooth, crack-free top. My last one had cracks that ran so deep they hit the bottom crust, which is really just unreasonable, so I was particularly proud of this one.

Having now made basically this exact same cheesecake two times, I'll warn you to follow these directions exactly-- it really makes a difference! Specifically, make sure your ingredients are at room temperature, your egg whites are folded into the mixture until the entire mixture has a uniform consistency (for me, this was WAY MORE mixing than I thought was necessary, but it paid off in the end), and that there is a tray under your springform pan in the oven, lest you suffer a scorched oven floor.

But seriously. There's just something about enjoying a slice of cheesecake with your friends. The Golden Girls knew it, Eleanor knew it, and now I know it. It's so decadent and luxurious, but somehow still manages to be improved by the addition of girlfriends to share it with. I may be getting tired of cheesecakes, but I'll never get tired of sharing them with my friends. So if you, like the Golden Girls in the clip above, have watched Psycho or Jaws or It or The Ring and have scared yourself into staying awake all night, slice yourself a piece of cheesecake and put the kettle on for some tea. There's enough room at my kitchen table for all of us.

The verdict:

4 spoons out of five. Best cheesecake I've made so far, but I've got my eye on the prize here. Make this cheesecake for your next girls' night in, and your friends will never let you forget how delicious it is.

The recipe:

Perfect, Crustless Cheesecake

THE DIRECTIONS:

Start with first four ingredients at room temperature.
Grease springform pan.
Preheat oven to 176C/350F.
Whip egg whites until stiff, then set aside.
Mix cream cheese, sour cream, and ricotta until well blended.
Add sugar, cornstarch, and vanilla and mix until smooth.
Add egg yolks and mix until smooth again.
Fold beaten egg whites into mixture and beat just until smooth.
Pour mixture into pan, set it on a cookie sheet in case of drips, and cook for one hour.
Without opening oven door, shut off oven and leave for one additional hour.

the ingredients:

5 medium eggs, separated
16 oz cream cheese
16 oz sour cream
15 oz ricotta
1 ½ c sugar
4 tbsp cornstarch
2 tsp vanilla

 

Western Barbecue Steak

Alright, I know I'm a day late for Memorial Day/Bank Holiday celebrations, but I had a friend in town visiting for the last few days, so you'll have to forgive me. I was thinking as I walked around Old Town here in Edinburgh yesterday that the way the holiday is celebrated in the US could not be more different from the way it's celebrated here. In the US, I don't think I was ever taught that Memorial Day was meant to be a day for remembering the soldiers that have served the country. Growing up, it was always just a day that meant pools, staying up late on Sunday night, and eating lots of watermelon... though later, when I spent my summers in Kentucky, many friends treated it as a day for remembering anyone who had passed away, military or not.

So fast forward to living here in Scotland, where there are ceremonies, moments of silence, church services and specific prayer times, and it's a little tough to reconcile the two versions of the holiday as an expat. On my second UK day of memorial, here's a little bit about Wilbur, Eleanor's husband, and my grandfather, who usually gets glossed over on this blog and in my life.

Wilbur died years before I was born, so all I've ever known about him is gleaned from the scant stories my mom rarely tells... but in the process of starting this site, going through old family artifacts, and trying to learn as much as I can about him, I've stumbled upon some interesting facts.

Wilbur was a joker from the start-- his friends thought Eleanor ruined him by taming his wild side, but people always say that about wives and I think it's probably an unfair statement. As I've grown older and learned more about his childhood, it strikes me that his life was hard, and the fact that he can make jokes at all is nothing short of a miracle: Wilbur was the oldest in his family, and when his dad was gassed during World War I and never recovered from the shellshock, it was Wilbur who abandoned the prospects of a full-ride golf scholarship to college and dropped out of high school in 9th grade to take care of his family. His lack of education didn't stop him from providing for his family-- he worked a series of mostly blue-collar jobs throughout his life that put food on the table even if it wasn't a lot. His red hair was a great source of pride for both himself and Eleanor (though I always picture him as a blond because I've only ever seen two colour photos of him).

I picture him having a strong sweet tooth, but I don't know why I think that; the only things I know about his preferences in food are that he only ate apple pie with a slice of cheese on top, and that he always used toast smeared with grape jelly to mop up the runny yolks of his fried eggs. My mom used to tell me those facts when I was a kid and being picky about my food touching, and I would squeal in disgust... though nowadays, the apple pie thing sounds pretty epic.

Wilbur was the inventor of the dad joke. Phrases like “Hi, hungry, I'm Wilbur!” and “If your knee hurts when you rub it, then don't rub it!” were his trademarks, and I grew up with my mom parroting them to me once removed: “I'm hungry,” I'd moan, and she'd reply (every time) “You know what Wilbur would say!” and I'd roll my eyes at her the same way she probably did at him.

Wilbur fought in the Pacific during World War II, which started when he was 24, and he wrote long letters to Eleanor throughout his service. He looked goofy in his uniform and he hated being at sea because he was lonely and hot, and he wrote little rhyming poems about “that ol' Hirohito” that he would send back to Eleanor in crabbed handwriting, written in pencil on his ship before curfew.

Wilbur and Eleanor married in 1942, and were childless until my mom's older brother was born over a decade later. During that time, they lived in Brooklyn where Wilbur worked as a cab driver (my favourite photo of him is his cabbie license). Eventually, he opened a gas station with a friend of his, and left the taxi business for good... until one day when he decided that their car needed a paint job, so he bought himself a can of yellow paint and painted his car with a paintbrush. The resulting paint job was (by all accounts) terrible, and Eleanor threw a fit because people on the sidewalk would try to hail her for a ride everywhere she went... which I'm sure Wilbur found hilarious.

The things I know about him are none of them related to his service in the US Navy, but I can only imagine how that experience must have shaped his own life (as well as Eleanor's, who agreed to marry him via a letter she wrote to him while he was on a ship bound for the Philippines). I'm grateful for the people like him, both in the US and abroad, who fight to make their countries into better places, and I'm proud to have a grandfather like him, even if I never got the chance to know him.

So, in honour of Wilbur, a high-school dropout, a sailor, a husband, a father, and a relocated Yankee, here's a steak recipe. Make it on the grill this summer and be grateful for your family.

The verdict:

The flavour on these steaks is amazing. There's no single ingredient that shines out from the rest, the overall taste is just rich and flavourful without overpowering the steak itself. We made them in the oven, under the broiler because we live in a country that rarely reaches temperatures higher than 16C, but if you have a grill, make these on it and enjoy them with a cold beer as you eat outside on a picnic table... and know that somewhere far away, a couple of Scottish expats are highly jealous.

A sincere question: do any of you have any idea if Heinz still makes chili sauce? It's the only brand that popped up on my Googling, but I've never seen a bottle of it anywhere in the US, much less over here.

The recipe:

Western Barbecue Steak

THE DIRECTIONS:

Mix together all ingredients except steak and let marinade rest for at least 10 minutes.
Place steak in shallow dish and pour marinade over it.
Marinate at least 30 minutes at room temperature, turning steak halfway through to ensure thorough coating on both sides.
Drain excess marinade and grill or broil 6 inches from heat source until just warm throughout.

Yields 6 servings.

the ingredients:

¼ c vegetable oil
½ c sweet onion, chopped
¼ c prepared horseradish
3 tbsp lemon juice
3 tbsp chili sauce (I used Tabasco)
1 tbsp worcestershire sauce
1 tsp paprika
1 tsp salt
½ tsp pepper
2 cloves garlic, minced
6 sirloin steaks, 1-inch thick (½ lb each)